Runnin’ On Empty

 This is my thought bubble.  It is empty.  This is one big reason why there has been no posting and the poor praying child in my last post has been on her knees since November 19th. 

Yes, there have been “bloggable” events in the last few weeks, and when they occurred I said, “Oh, I should post that on my blog”.  Then as time passes and other things happen they sort of lose their spark.  It kind of reminds me one of those “you had to be there” jokes.  It seems sooooo funny/important while it was happening, but when you try to retell the event to someone else they just stare at you like you have green boogers falling out of your nose.

Honestly, some of the things I could have written about were so darn depressing that I just couldn’t do it. My hubby has been extra, extra sick lately and frankly, he has more than once talked about being so sick he may not be around for Christmas.  That just makes you want to run and check out my blog every day, huh?  Thankfully, things have improved somewhat.  But, what do you do with that kind of stuff? Yes, this a blog about my life, my cute daughter, my loving husband.  I want it to be full of wit and wisdom and memories and sentiment.  But for my own sake and those who might read it, it should also be real. 

So, here it goes.  The last several weeks have been full of many tears, many discussions, many decisions, lots of sickness and, believe it or not, some very exciting and good things too. 

After a year, and then some, in IL we have decided to return to WV.  Over the next couple months we’ll be making the transition.   The reasons for the return are twofold (at a minimum).  The first is that my hubby needs medical care for Lyme disease.  Treatment that we were sure would be abundant in IL.  It is not.  Lyme is a tough nut to crack anyway, but he has made a connection with a doctor in WV that is very willing to think outside the box and take drastic measures to improve his health.  Lyme is prevelent in WV and other states along the east coast – not so much in the mid-west.  Strangely, the most “lyme-literate” doctor we have been able to find was in our own back door.  The second reason is strictly financial.  Our home in WV has not sold.  They say everything happens for a reason and if G needs the medical treatment in WV, then our house NOT selling is a blessing. 

For reasons that I don’t know or understand, we were meant to come this way for a year.  Maybe it was simply to put things in perspective and set our plans firmly in place.  Only time will tell. 

Of course, I’m happy to be physically closer to my family by returning to WV.  Z and her grandparents will no longer have to have their “lovefest” long distance.  But I must admit that there’s something very liberating and empowering for me about being in a new place, out of my comfort zone and blazing my own path.  I will miss the adventure, even though at times it was VERY overwhelming.  I don’t want to lose all that by returning to what is familiar.  That being said, I know this is the right decision.

Now, comes the task of getting all our things together and moved back to WV.  There is no way to glorify or glamorize that task.  It is hell – plain and simple.  I have been purging closets, drawers, you name it.  I am determined that we will NOT be trucking junk that was questionable when we left WV, only to have it come back to take up valuable space once again.  I think/hope the move back will be much cleaner.

I am becoming truly interested in the efficient Scandinavian style of life and home - clean, simple, no frills furniture, uncluttered and yet sophisticated.  Living near and being able to shop at IKEA has opened my eyes to what ”less is more” really means.  I think I can live with far less clothing, pots and pans, things sitting around to collect dust.  I just want walls and shelves full of meaningful, simply-framed photographs of family and friends.   I want my husbands paintings on the walls too.   Not boring,  just simpler! 

Maybe this strange post has gotten me over the hump.  Perhaps my thought bubble will once again fill with so many thoughts that I just won’t be able to contain them.  We can hope.